Saturday, June 11, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Why I Write

At the urging of my fab writing partner, I've compiled my top 10 reasons why I write to show you why I do what I do. Please seek the advice of your physician before attempting to recreate any of the following suggestions. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, confusion, irritation, and a sequin allergy.

I write because...

1) It's the perfect cover for being crazy. If you say "I hear voices in my head" followed quickly by "because I'm a writer," it's a green light to be crazy. In fact, you can even...shh...they're talking, hang on a second...

2) I get to read as much as I want and pretend I'm doing research. Same goes for covers with bare-chested men in the name of creating cover art. Ahem. But back to research; I can write off some of these books on my taxes. This is a no-brainer, people.
3) I love that people think you're a "world famous author" if you've published a book. I rarely bother to correct them. Hey, I'm famous in the world where I live with me, myself and I.

4) It's perfect if you're anti-social, which sadly, I am. I can avoid makeup, people and traffic. That's my ideal day.
5) It beats a regular 9-5 job. I've tried a number of them, and have come to the conclusion it's better if I'm the boss. Being the Queen of Everyone makes it difficult to take orders with any kind of grace.

6) I can get out of housework by pretending to log working long hours on the laptop.

7) It beats running for office. I'm not good with cheating, taking pictures of myself or rewriting history. I'll leave that to the experts.

8) I would rather deal with fictional drama, than the BS of real life any day. Plus, anyone who irritates me enough gets an instant cameo in one of my books. You have been warned.

9) My career as a Vegas showgirl and Rockette never panned out. All of those beautiful sequined outfits, wasted...

10) Last but not least, I love it. I love creating characters and letting them unfold in all of their imperfect glory. I love late nights writing (most of the time). I love typing The End. I love the sending the last set of revisions off. I love the whole messy, brilliant, agonizing, heart-wrenching process. Even if no one gets to see my high kick.

What do you love about writing?


Jus Accardo said...

LOL ! Great post :D I think number 8 is my fave.

Jess Macallan said...

Isn't that one of the best parts of writing a book where you can maim people? ;)