Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My Tiara & Me

I've mentioned my plans for world domination. These plans are still at the forefront of my mind, and I've come to the conclusion I need a tiara. A big one. I plan to wear it every day. In fact, I might even have multiple tiaras for various tasks. A grocery shopping tiara, a writing tiara, a holiday tiara and even a coffee date tiara. It's a known fact people take you seriously when you're wearing a tiara.

Here's why I'll be wearing one:

* A tiara is sparkly. Sparkly things have a mildly hypnotic affect. The better to enthrall you with.

* A tiara screams royalty. We've established I'm the Queen of Everyone. Now I need to look the part.

* A tiara is like a hat on a bad hair day. You save time and don't have to worry about frizzy, unkempt hair. Well, you should, but I won't.

* It's the new accessory. However, if your tiara is bigger than mine, I will ask my minions to remove it. They'll replace it with an "Always a Minion, Never a Queen" baseball hat free of charge.

* A tiara is a better focal point than forehead grooves or chin hair. Or so I hear.

* A tiara makes a better first impression than a hooded sweatshirt from your high school years. Trust me.

* Hair always looks better dripping with jewels, faux or real.

* Finally, tiaras just make me happy. Who needs a better reason than that?

Jess

5 comments:

Rachel Firasek said...

Yes, now I want one too. Can I be a leader in your minions, your Grace? Great post, and oh so fun. I've worn mine all day. :)

Nina Croft said...

I think it's really good that people take you seriously when you wear your tiara - they always laugh at me when I wear mine (I don't let that stop me though!)

chelle2006 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chelle2006 said...

Wow, you just made me want a tiara. SO BAD! This was really funny, I love posts like this.

Im a new follower and I am really liking your blog.

-Michelle (sassy street siren)

Book Briefs

Jess Macallan said...

I should hand out complimentary tiaras. A tiara for everyone! :D